So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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