I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
