apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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