u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
