I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
