I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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