Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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