He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
