My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
