Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
