Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Still dying that you shit outside
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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