just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
