Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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