don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
