ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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