On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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