She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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