Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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