I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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