if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
