hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
