i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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