i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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