weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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