I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
