I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
