So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
