I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i was in the wii world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize