life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize