I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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