Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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