Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
