this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
