Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
