All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
