he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
