He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
