i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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