i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
