plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
