I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
