You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
