Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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