I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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