Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
