Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
