Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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