Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
