I love black thongs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
