Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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