All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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