I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
