Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's the barista slut.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
