God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Text me some of your sweat
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
