did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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