I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i love accidental penises.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There r osticjed everywhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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