afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
