Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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