No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize