I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
