I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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