One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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